The hangover from this year’s tour won’t go away. I’m sure that Floyd’s B sample will give the same result. Somehow, I think it’s a frame up. I met Floyd at a MTB race he won in Cali. I won’t go to hero-worship mode, but I believe this guy would not do anything to win. He would only do his best, which it sure seemed like he did. So if he did dope, my intuition is dead wrong and that hurts. And if he didn’t and got set-up, that hurts. No one will care about bike racing much.
I’m not sure what to believe any more.
Of course, I feel that way about everything these days. Not to sound overly morose or depressed, but I just don’t get it anymore. I’ve spent the better part of my life believing that living lightly on the earth, and consuming a minimum of resources is THE WAY. Yet, I see more big vehicles on the road, more asset-rich folks leveraging the next 30 years of their lives to buy giant homes and fill them with “art” and “toys” and fancy kitchens in which the microwave and the dishwasher are the only things they use. America seems to be oblivious to the obvious shame of consuming 80% of the world’s resources. Where do we think those resources come from? And when they’re used up, what then? Will we be so rich that we’ll always be able to buy what we need? What if China stops selling us stuff?
I haven’t moved my car for 11 days. It’s in the driveway and there is no parking issue that requires me to move it. Sure, it’s “inconvenient” to ride to work…what with getting sweaty and having to start my commute 20 minutes earlier than if I drove, shit sounds awful doesn’t it? Not to mention the half mile of very sweet single track.
I haven’t purchased anything but food and beer since I last moved my car. My 401k is growing with 15% of my pay. I work in non-profit and don’t make much, but I pay the bills and have some savings to buy a house. It seems like I don’t even look at eBay anymore. I really feel like I don’t need much of anything. In fact, if I could get a little more motivated, I’ve got a grand worth of stuff to sell there. Probably the next time I sign in will be to sell. I’m sure I can be happy with a LOT LESS.
I’ve got a big beautiful lake to swim in. I’ve got trails (and well, roads) to ride. As you all know I’ve got 4 more bikes than I need (no, none of those will be sold…) I’ve got skis and a snowboard. I know how to use them. I’ve got a computer, on which I make music, video, art, process photos etc…I’ve got hand tools and kitchen tools that are of quality that needs no replacing. I guess my tireless pursuit of quality has cost me a lot more than cheaper “equivalents.” But, most of my stuff will be in full-service well after my carbon footprint goes to zero.
I have a very small clan of friends who live in similar ways. But the conventional wisdom in this society has moved away from conscientious minimal consumption back towards a more ’50’s ideal….(ok, the low impact stuff was only ever popular in small communities of sentient people in the 70’s)….
“Marriage is in, though the divorce stats give you less than a 50/50 chance, kids are in, and I’m all for kids, but isn’t 2 enough? Being 42, kidless, and never married, sounds like low-impact right? Well, I can’t tell you how often people inquire how I got to this point as if I must have lived life as a felon, junkie, asshole, or…oh yeah…’are you gay?’”
When was the last time you heard a news story about someone who made a fair bunch of cash and then built a little efficient home with durability and environmental sensitivity as priorities? Sure people do it, but they don’t get any press. Hell, if your approach doesn’t fit the “extreme makeover” or Jerry Springer theme, you don’t get much acknowledgement.
There seems to be insufficient power to sustain the air conditioning loads in many parts of this country this summer. What if it gets hotter? If you built your home with a swamp cooler, a gray-water system, and are relatively fit, it would be a non-issue. I’m certain that an awful lot of the A/C load goes to cool rooms in big homes in Texas, California and Arizona that may go days or weeks without seeing a human, possibly just the dog sniffing around.
Sure, you can find flaws in the way I live my life, and I’ve been prone at times to over-consumption. But in the big picture I’ve stuck to my bikes, hiked and ridden more miles than 95% of the world. I’ve done volunteer work. I’ve been a pretty nice average guy, with a carbon footprint that anyone would be proud of.
Why am I so upset?
I don’t think human beings have improved their lot much in recorded history. Sure, we have great technology. SO WHAT. Does it make enemies more likely to settle their differences face-to-face? NO. We have just made it easier to anonymously slaughter our neighbors: Lebanon. Those folks over there prove that nostalgia and dogma cause people to kill others who are likely well less than 6 degrees of separation from kin.
It’s nasty business between people who’ve been at odds seemingly since the beginning of “history.”
Look at the Roman Empire, look at their political system. Now look at the US. The approach is strikingly similar. They had a good run for about 400 years. We could be just about out of time ourselves here in the US.
Men still abuse women. Men and women still abuse children. 3500 years of history are overlooked daily as evidence of our selfish and hostile nature. Can’t we learn from what we’ve already done, a thousand times over? Our self-awe over our technology just makes it easier to avoid dealing with what WE are….carbon and water based units, with fairly simple physiological needs, but with a penchant for self-destruction when we have excess resources. Our spirits and our minds make us unique, yes. But our ability to de-humanize our lives, say by preferring IM and email to the good ol’ face-to-face, is NOT a matter of convenience but mostly an avoidance behavior. We think that technology and wealth can “fix” us. But it doesn’t.
I recently attended a conference and one speaker was talking about management mistakes. He had a list of 7 behaviors that cause problems. At the top of the list: Avoidance. He asked us to raise our hands if we thought that avoidance was our main problem as managers. 75% of the hands went up. He asked again the same question, but asked us to focus on our personal lives: 90% of hands up. So, we willingly admit in public that we’re all avoiders. At least amongst a group of peers. Why can’t we do that as a country, or better yet, globally? How many politicians, capitalists, dictators, whatever….could you say really do anything for the best interests of the grandchildren of someone else? Or how about their own grandchildren? Maybe. But the self-interest is always there, even in so-called philanthropic gestures. Would you believe it if Warren Buffett gave 30 something billion to be distributed amongst the Katrina victims, Cuban and Sudanese refugees, or perhaps to found a Middle East peace foundation? HA! Now that would really mean something.
(note…I have to say that for a billionaire, Buffett does live in a “smallish” house for his wealth, and has a modest office.)
I worry for the children of my friends, my sister, my housemates.
Take a deep breath.
OK, I feel better now. I’ll be back on topic here shortly.
G.
